EVER DEALT WITH SELF DOUBT, INSECURITIES, & SELF SABOTAGE? TIRED OF LETTING THE INNER GREMLINS RUN THE SHOW?
Tune in to this week’s episode of Journey 2 Worthy Podcast to learn how to take back control!
It seems like bouts of low self-esteem and doubt are par for the course as a gay man, or as a member of the LGBTQ community. We learn from such a young age that something is wrong with us, that we are not normal! I experienced all kinds of feelings of shame, fear, doubt, insecurity during my younger years.
AND GUESS WHAT! IT DIDN’T STOP THERE!
My childhood experiences that had me feeling fearful and insecure, they left me a gift! A Voice of Doubt, an Inner Critic, a Saboteur that lives in my mind that continues to hold me back from living a life of Confidence & Courage.
You all know the voice I’m talking about. It tells you, you shouldn’t take risks, it’s too scary, it tells you not to bother trying. It’s the part of you that stops you from moving forward. The constant stream of negative thoughts and fears that creep in saying: ‘You’re not good enough’ OR ‘You can’t do this!’
Brené Brown refers to these voices in her book, ‘Daring Greatly‘ as the ‘Gremlins’ of Shame, the monsters of our mind that tell us we are not good enough. Brown puts to words what my feelings of shame as a gay man felt like for most of my young years in the viral TedTalk on Vulnerability.
The voice of doubt I deal with feels like a targeted attack from a not so foreign intelligence that is created from my experience and memories, and exists as an emotional assassin on standby that operates covertly within my own psyche waiting to strike a fatal blow to my self esteem.Jeremy Long, Journey 2 Worthy Podcast
IT’S SO FRUSTRATING to deal with the Inner Critic, But similar to the Gremlin Monsters – change comes when you shed light on the little beasts. LETS FIGURE OUT HOW!
Tune in to today’s episode of Journey2Worthy Podcast to learn More.
What is the Saboteur/Inner Critic?
Sometimes it is the voice that stops us from trying new things in fear that we won’t excel: How many opportunities have you passed up out of fear you would not succeed? Other times it is the voice that creeps in when things are going great, a voice of doubt, a feeling of being an imposter that sneak in telling you ‘You aren’t good enough to be here.’ And then the times when the voice actually has you act on beliefs that you can skip out on your responsibilities, or that you don’t belong – the thoughts of self-defeat, self-sabotage, and self-destruction that lead to the destruction of whatever has been going good in your life.
As a recovering addict, I know the acts of self-sabotage all too well. The choice to take action toward instant gratification and comfort – worrying about how to deal with the consequences of my rebellious actions later, pushing the impact my actions had on others to the back of my mind. (YIKES – I am so glad I am sober!)
And then there’s the part of you that is aware that you have these voices of doubt, these saboteurs. Maybe like me, you see when you are listening to them, believing their lies. Maybe you even say to yourself or to someone around you: “WOW, I am so hard on myself! I suck at being positive! I always doubt myself!”
You may think this is a good thing, self-awareness…..Wrong!
Now you feel BAD about feeling BAD! It’s a second layer of shame over not feeling in control of your own emotions. It’s like a scene from from the movie Inception. Now you’re thinking: How many layers of darkness does my mind have? How do I get out of this pit of emotional doom?
WELL….GOOD NEWS (SORT OF)
This, listeners, is your Saboteur/Inner Critic at work, taking whatever angle it can to hold you back from feeling confident, from trying new things, from succeeding beyond your current reality in any way.
Why is it a thing? – Why does it hold me back?
It actually wants you to keep everything in your life exactly the same as it is right now. To stay safe, to play small, to avoid taking risks, and trng new things. It actually is trying to protect you from ever feeling embarrassed or afraid – but unfortunately it does this by berating us with negativity – I know, it’s totally backwards!
Who is this Inner Critic or Voice of Darkness?
Would you be surprised to learn the Saboteur or Inner Critic actually shows up in 9 distinct ways, and you can actually get to know yours!
To get a hold on who your saboteur is – check out the work of Standford University professor and author, Shirzad Chamine.
Chamine is the author of ‘Positive Intelligence: Why only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential, and How You Can Achieve Yours’
To Learn how the saboteur shows up in your life: Take the Saboteur Assessment here!
Where does this voice come from?
The voices of the Saboteur are created in our mind stemming from our childhood experiences. The voices are recreations of our parents, teachers, anyone in our lives that led us to tell ourselves something negative about who we are and what we are capable of. Gary Bishop, Personal Development Expert and Author, discusses how our childhood shapes the voice of our Saboteurs in his book: ‘Stop Doing that Shit‘ where he explains the circumstances that we are thrown into as children and how it stops us from moving forward.
Bishop offers a creative way of changing our life trajectory and addressing these Saboteurs by overwriting subconscious thoughts. You can hear about them here: The Science of Success Podcast
More on this in a later episode on CORE BELIEFS.
How to Stop the Inner Critic from holding you back?
Like I share in this episode of Journey 2 Worthy Podcast, I have let this Saboteur Hold me back for much of my life, and I am tired of letting it stop me from trying, from growing, from succeeding, and playing big.
I am also done with letting the voice trick me into believing that people don’t like me, or believe in me, or that I need to protect myself by lashing out!
I refuse to let my Inner Critic run the show, encouraging me to sabotage my life by making me feel isolated and alone, and misunderstood.
Tired of letting these voices hold you back! Ready to take back control?
If you are done with feeling small and weak, and want to eliminate the voices, You should tune in to this week’s episode of Journey 2 Worthy Podcast to learn how you can take back control, and work with your Saboteur to make real change. On this episode I provide tools that will not only help you become aware of the Inner Critic, but I will help you Take Away it’s power and take back your life!
THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST USEFUL TOOL I HAVE LEARNED IN MY LIFE! YOU DESERVE TO LIVE A LIFE FREE FROM DOUBT AND FEAR! DO IT NOW!
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Great content on this episode! Lots of good tools and learnings from your experience. Keep it up, keep sharing!