How to Create Connections When Your Brain is against you!

What kind of connections are you longing for?
How personality types help you see what you’re doing wrong?
And, What is getting in the way?

These questions are answered on this week’s episode of Journey 2 Worthy Podcast:

TODAY’S EPISODE

If you are like me, you have done every personality test to try to understand why you are the way you are. And if you are like me, you end up having more questions than answers.

Recently I was sharing services with a colleague of mine who does a lot of work using the Enneagram which is a Type System that helps people to understand their patterns in how they conceptualize the world and manage emotions.

The Enneagram consists of 9 Types that help to see how you relate to other people. Here is a diagram of what it looks like:

Personality Type tests can be extremely insightful, and often leave with me questions that are useful in helping to identify and address personal characteristics that I would like to manage, understand or change.

BELONGING & CONNECTION

The Enneagram helped me to look at what my natural tendencies. and how I relate to others. It helped me to reflect on my connections in the world, and how I can change with this knowledge. The following are my Types and what they mean in relation to connection:

2s – THE HELPER (Or GIVER)
Some one who focuses on being of service, giving themselves with empathy and care, putting the needs of others first seen as a support to others in need.

At my Best – As a Giver, when doing well, I am fulfilled by giving, see myself as useful and a rock for others.

At my worst, as a Giver, if I don’t check my motives, I can feel unappreciated and act as a martyr basing my self worth on the validation of others. You can imagine where that gets me.

3s – The ACHIEVER
Someone with the taste for Success and Accomplishment, 3s can achieve greatness with their dedication and determination with great focus on goals, performance, and action.

At my best, as an Achiever, I am relentless and driven to be productive and goal oriented showing many wins to be proud of for myself. I can be highly adaptable and push myself, and inspire others.

At my worst, I don’t stop to enjoy my successes. I may constantly compare myself to others and become overly critical of mine and the performance and others, never settling for second best isolating me from deep connections with people as I am too focused on action and results.

4s – THE INDIVIDUALIST (ROMANTIC)
These are the people who stand out, are unique by nature with interesting lives and experiences, even with how they appear physically and behaviorally. These are the people who do not settle for ordinary and constantly have something interesting to share or express, often very in tune and comfortable with deep emotions.

At my best, as an individual, I feel special and interesting, comfortable with being an outlier, an oddball, because it sets me apart from an ordinary world. I can be authentically myself, have a strong sense of identity and am confident in challenging the status quo.

At my worst, I may feel too far removed from a sense of community, isolated, misunderstood, or even too good for the attention of those around me. This feeling of terminal uniqueness is not helpful in connection to society and lead to a need for escape or self-medicating (in my case a pretty serious drug and alcohol problem) that leads to further isolation and intense feelings of being ‘Different.’

Assessment

Based on my results you can imagine and determine a few things. When at my best I am helpful as a 2, reliable and giving of my energy. I am driven to achieve results as a 3. And as a 4, I have unique experiences and opinions to share.

BUT, If I am at my worst – I am resentful for helping, too busy focused on my goals, and too special and better than everyone to make lasting and deep connections with those around me.

In this week’s episode of Journey 2 Worthy Podcast I dive into what Connection means to me, and how to help you get the connections you want.

CHECK OUT THE EPISODE TO LEARN THE RIGHT QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF TO FIND MORE CONNECTION TO THE PEOPLE YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE, LISTEN HERE: